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In the United States vs. Ghana match tomorrow, the United States team is going up against famed Ligue 1 striker Asamoah Gyan. Ghana’s national team is also nicknamed the Black Stars.

In my mind, this means that the US game plan is simple.

Gaia, Ortega, and Mash!

Ghana's midfield in action

– Ghana will most likely play an attacking 4-3-3 formation, with Gaia, Ortega, and Mash ready to counter any of Landon Donovan’s efforts. However, it will be easy for him to pierce the midfield defense because their tactics will always be the same: the three Black Stars will line up and first try to tackle him, then try to shoot him with a bazooka, then try to tackle him again. Should the referee not issue an instant red card for bringing beam swords and bazookas onto the field, Donovan can easily defeat this maneuver by jumping on Gaia’s head and continuing his run.

– Should Gyan manage to ambush Tim “RX-78” Howard, the US keeper will not be in any trouble. Howard’s spaceborn birthright allows him to thwart all of Gyan’s attacks with ease, and even with bruised ribs, one arm, and no head sensors, Tim will be able to punch the ball out of goal.

Soko da!

Tim Howard performs an amazing one-handed save

With those two basic tenets in mind, US victory should be assured unless the Titans panic and start gassing people, that’s an automatic red card.

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Delicious, nutricious comedy in bite-size form.

It’s not exactly a surprise with Bandai owning everything else Haruhi, but Bandai has officially announced the licensing of the popular comedy shorts The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi-chan and Nyoro~n Churuya-san. The anime shorts, which were based on 4-panel gag comics that have nearly eclipsed the original novels in popularity, started out on YouTube and even offered some rudimentary subtitles for English-speaking fans for a short time. Now you can also find them streaming on Crunchyroll, and Bandai says that the two series will come on DVD soon.

This is great news for those of us who loved the crazy and hilarious little shorts. However, it’s bad news for exactly one person, and that’s the poor guy who has to keep up with the breakneck pace of the hilarious dialogue in the series. Old friend and veteran translator Richard Kim happens to be handling the series for Bandai, and this is a good time to relate a conversation we had on Monday. It went like this:

Richard Kim: “KILL ME”
Me: “Hahahahahaha :D”

I am a sympathetic person.

On the plus side, you guys will be getting a great translation when the series comes out later this year, along with the usual Bang! Zoom dub. I’m already trying to pre-order my copy…

Yeah, that's not cryptic at all.

Sadly, this is the least cryptic screenshot.

The tease for the new Code Geass anime is officially on! On the official Code Geass website, creators Taniguchi Goro and Okouchi Ichiro have released the first solid details about the much-anticipated third series. The details are a bit sparse, but fans will be tickled pink to know that the tentatively titled Code Geass Gaiden: Boukoku no Akito (Code Geass Side Story: Akito of the Ruined Country) brings  back almost all of the important staff from the first two series.

CLAMP and Kimura Takahiro will once again team up to design the characters. Morita Akira returns as the head writer. Yasuda Akira will keep on designing Knightmare Frames. Okouchi Ichiro and Taniguchi Goro are still the masterminds behind the whole thing, with the backing of Sunrise. The only newcomer is Akane Kazuki, who will be the director for the new series. His other credits include Tetsuwan Birdy: Decode, Noein, and the Escaflowne movie, so at the very least, he’s very experienced in the genre.

So rest assured, Geass fans – the new series will look, move, and flow  just the same as its well-loved predecessor. Personally, I couldn’t care less about all that – the real question is, will it sound the same? I need to hear that Nakagawa Koutarou is back to do the soundtrack before I get excited. I’d be in musical heaven if he and his partner in crime Sakai Mikio came back.

I feel a Tuesday Tunes coming on…

For a girl who looks like a hobo, she sure does cost a lot.

There’s been a bit of a kerfuffle on the Internet today after Bandai’s announcement of the Kurokami Blu-ray discs, which will have an English dub track and no Japanese language track. I figure it’s a good time to educate you folks on how good American releases are compared to the Japanese market, and why this had to happen.

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